Bilbo Baggins

The Gentleman Thief

speaking riddles through lex since december 2013

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I AM 34. This blog can be used for M-rated roleplays. All of the M-rated material will be tagged.NSFW may include but is not limited to: sex, gore, violence, and other adult themes.

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If I see you using my icons, headcanons, or FCs for teen!- or female!Bilbo without my permission, I will know and I will message you politely to ask you to stop. However, I am not above publicly calling someone out if they don't listen to me, so I suggest you save yourself the embarrassment and find your own resources. I know when people steal from me and I’m not about to sit down and take it. Don’t steal my shit and don’t piss me off.

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The stuffiest, the snootiest, the most Hobbity Hobbit to ever Hobbit -- all things one would think describes Bilbo Baggins perfectly. But the mind of a writer is often a convoluted one, and it takes a special someone to really get to know the ring-ridden riddler. He is braver than expected, more cunning than acknowledged and in actuality, quite loose around the edges. He enjoys a good party as much as anyone and is known to indulge in many things mental and physical alike.Smooth and suave when he so chooses, his sass adds to his already mercurial personality. He personally enjoys running circles around the weak-minded, and may or may not enjoy a little bit of a challenge when he can find it. No, It's not difficult to know Bilbo Baggins. By far, the difficult part is keeping up with him.Clever enough to keep up? Then continue on...

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The Moonlighter

GIVEN NAME: Bilbo Baggins
ALIAS(ES): Master Hobbit, the Burglar, Riddle-Maker, Barrel-Rider, Ring-Bearer, etc, etc, etc.
BIRTH DATE: 22 September, TA 2890 (SR 1290)
BIRTHPLACE: The Shire
ESTIMATED AGE: 51
SPECIES: Hobbit
GENDER: Male/Male
SEXUALITY: Pansexual.
RELIGION: Largely Non-Religious
LANGUAGES: Westron, Khuzdul, Sindarin.
ACCENT: Hobbitish; usually derived from vocabulary.

His Body

HEIGHT: 3'6"
WEIGHT: 97lbs
BODY TYPE: EctomorphicEctomorphic individuals are not suited for power and strength sports as their slight build leaves them susceptible to injuries. While they can easily get lean and hard, their lack of musculature severely limits their chances in sports requiring mass. Ectomorphs dominate endurance sports and gymnastics. They can archive low levels of body fat which can be detrimental to health and have a fast metabolism which rapidly uses energy, usually manifesting in a consistent need to consume food.SKIN TONE: Tan and peach-like, sun kissed.
HAIR: Chestnut.
EYES: A rich, warm amber gold.
TATTOOS: None. What would people think?
PIERCINGS: None
SCARS: One on his forehead, cleverly hidden by bangs. One on his chest, severe, gnarled, from torture.
POSTURE: Easy and relaxed, but proper.
STYLE: Lavish. As Bilbo loves anything and everything indulgent, he will often be found in fine silks and rich fabrics befitting the weather, if he can help it.

His Mind

TYPE: INFJ ( "The Advocate" )The INFJ personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As Diplomats (NF), they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying Judging (J) trait – INFJs are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact.INFJs indeed share a very unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very Merriweather opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and Merriweather-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.ALIGNMENT: Neutral GoodA neutral good character will never attack an unarmed foe and will never harm an innocent. He will not use torture to extract information or for pleasure. He will never kill for pleasure, only in self-defense or in the defense of others. A neutral good character will never use poison. He will help those in need and works well alone or in a group. He responds well to higher authority until that authority attempts to use the law to hamper his ability to do good. He is trustful of organizations as long as they serve his utilitarian purpose. He will follow the law unless more good can come from breaking the law. He will never betray a family member, comrade, or friend. Neutral good characters are indifferent to the concepts of self-discipline and honor, finding them useful only if they promote goodness.Neutral good characters sometimes find themselves forced to work beyond the law, yet for the law, and the greater good of the people. They are not vicious or vindictive, but are people driven to right injustice. Neutral good characters always attempt to work within the law whenever possible, however.TEMPERAMENT: SanguineThe sanguine temperament is fundamentally spontaneous and pleasure-seeking; sanguine people are sociable and charismatic. They tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean sensitive, compassionate, thoughtful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Sanguines generally have an almost shameless nature, certain that what they are doing is right. They have no lack of confidence.HOUSE: RavenclawRavenclaws possess the traits of cleverness, wisdom, wit, and creativity. Thus, many Ravenclaws tend to be academically motivated and talented students. Ravenclaws also pride themselves in being original in their ideas, and methods. It's not unusual to find Ravenclaw students practicing especially different types of magic that other houses might shun.Students in Ravenclaw are noted for their individuality and acceptance of people and things that others would consider weird. They can also be quirky and possess unusual intellectual interests. While others may be inclined to shun and ridicule such people, Ravenclaws generally accept and celebrate these eccentrics.WAND: Vine, 10¾ inches, quite flexibleVine wands are among the less common types, and their owners are nearly always those witches or wizards who seek a greater purpose, who have a vision beyond the ordinary and who frequently astound those who think they know them best. Vine wands seem Merriweatherly attracted by personalities with hidden depths, and they are more sensitive than any other when it comes to instantly detecting a prospective match. These wands can emit magical effects upon the mere entrance into their room of a suitable owner.A quite flexible wand will pose little to no difficulty to whoever possesses it with the exception of owners it considers restrictive and/or boring. It is particularly good for transfiguration, spell crafting, healing magic, and curses. The owner of this wand is usually very likable as a result of being diplomatic and able to see all sides of a situation. They may be very indecisive, but they do have a few principles on which they believe very Merriweatherly in.DRINK // SMOKE // DRUGS: Yes | Yes | NoTRAITS: Fickle, Perceptive, Cunning, Shrewd, Hospitable, Haughty, Protective, Possessive, Hedonistic, Somewhat Flirty, Self-Conscious, Merriweather-Willed, Panicky and a little ObsessiveLIKES: Tea, Gifts, Visitors, Maps, Possessing things in general, The High Life, Lavish lifestyles, Music, Cozy spots, Cuddling and other forms of affection, Respect -- and the social status that comes with it, Beautiful architecture, All beautiful things really, Achievement, Social gatherings, Gratification of any kind (Including sexual), and of course Food.DISLIKES: Messes, Politics, Fighting, Gore, Tasteless food, Ugly things, Running out of pipeweed, DWARVES, Gold (And greed), Disrespect, Lack of etiquette, Roughhousing in general.

His Life

OCCUPATION: CONFIRMED BACHELOR Accomplished burglar. A land owner and investor. Recently, has taken position in Erebor to serve as Thorin's consort.SKILLS: Cooking. Cleaning. Setting up parties. Partying. Drinking. Collecting. Embroidering. Sewing. Writing. Diplomacy. Mediation. Proven master of problem solving. flattery. Sexual congress.WEAPONRY: Though in practice his aim is deathly accurate, it remains unrefined. Bilbo is currently training with Sting and has been gifted a set of throwing knives in hopes to cultivate his already so adept skill. However, he prefers using diplomacy even in antagonistic situations. His most preferred weapon is his wit.LIVING CONDITIONS: A well-to-do Hobbit who now makes his home in the Lonely Mountain.

Inspiration

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Further Reading

META HERE

The Paths that Lead Home

THE RINGWINNER
the main verseALIAS: Bilbo Baggins
AGE: 51
LOCATION: VariableAn open-ended verse in which Bilbo returns to the Shire after his journey. Whether he stays or goes is up to the thread's discretion.THE KEYSTONE
the erebor verseALIAS: Bilbo Baggins
AGE: 51
LOCATION: VariableAn open-ended verse in which Bilbo remains in Erebor after the journey. Whether he stays or goes is up to the thread's discretion.THE WILD CHILD
the childhood verseALIAS: Bilbo Baggins
AGE: From 1-33
LOCATION: The ShireThe lost years, in which Bilbo serves as the local black sheep of Hobbiton. Curious, naive, and somewhat invasive, he wishes to learn all he can about the land beyond his homestead's borders.THE BAGGINS
the pre-quest verseALIAS: Bilbo Baggins
AGE: From 33-50
LOCATION: The ShireProperly tamed, Bilbo Baggins lauds the title of one of the most respectable Hobbits in the Shire. He has little to no interest in associating himself with anything to do with adventures, thank you, and would especially rather not deal with troublesome wizards or barbarous Dwarves.THE TOOK
the quest verseALIAS: Bilbo Baggins
AGE: 50
LOCATION: VariableBaggins or Took? Bilbo struggles with compensating his two warring mindsets as he acquaints himself with the world outside of the Shire -- and the Dwarves who have led him straight into it.

Over Hill and Under Tree

THE MAVERICK
the modern verseALIAS: BARNABAS Beckett Baggins
AGE: 33
LOCATION: London // VariableBeck is a boarding school baby and is set to inherit his father's investments. He's savvy and bears formidable intelligence -- but lacks direction in his life. He fills the void by seeking thrills and letting his imagination run wild, and co-heads Durin Corporation, a security conglomerate, with his partner Thorin Oakes.THE RENEWAL
the god verseALIAS: Bilbo, God of Renewal
AGE: Variable
LOCATION: VariableCharming, spirited and not the least bit cunning, the God of Renewal spends half the year tending to the livelihood of fields and forests. The other half, however, sees his life spiral into welcome darkness, where Bilbo is known as Consort and formidable lord of the dead.THE GHOSTWRITER
the marvel/dc verseALIAS: Beckett Baggins
AGE: 33
LOCATION: LondonHaving the power to literally bring anything he writes to life is an honor. Really, it is. That doesn't mean he wants any part in this superhero business.THE RAVENCLAW
the harry potter verseALIAS: BARNABAS Beckett Baggins
AGE: Variable
LOCATION: Often, HogwartsA clever Ravenclaw who tends toward Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures, but has a strange affinity for the Dark Arts in later years. He's also got a knack for Charms.THE SUNCHASER
the star trek verseALIAS: Beckett Baggins
AGE: 33
LOCATION: VariableWherein Beckett holds a career in Starfleet as second in command under his captain, Thorin.THE CORSAIR
the pirate verseALIAS: Beckett Baggins
AGE: 33
LOCATION: VariableBeckett seeks his cousin, Dominick Baggins, formerly under the employ of the King's Navy and now missing for several months. He will do anything, include stow away on pirate ships, in order to find him. Swords and bar fights haven't stopped him yet.THE 411
the mafia verseALIAS: [REDACTED]
AGE: [REDACTED]
LOCATION: London / VariableHe is cunning, shrewd, and greatly enjoys his ability to run people in circles. His loyalties are hard to pinpoint and his services come at a high price. If one wants information from him, they've got to intrigue him first -- be it a solved riddle or an exceedingly lavish gift. secrets are his trade, and he is not willing to part with them easily. Often he can be found working as an informant for the highest bidder -- unless they win him over completely, that is.THE KNIGHT
the kingsman verseALIAS: Percival
AGE: 33
LOCATION: London / Variable❝ After the death of his father, Percival's mother takes him to the forests where she raises him ignorant to the ways of men until the age of fifteen. Eventually, however, a group of knights passes through his wood, and Percival is struck by their heroic bearing. Wanting to be a knight himself, the boy leaves home to travel to King Arthur's court. After proving his worthiness as a warrior, he is knighted and invited to join the Knights of the Round Table." ----LE CONTE DU GRAALIn which Beckett Baggins takes up the mantle of Sir Percival, rectifying the wrongs of the world with panache and aplomb.THE SURVIVOR
the walkiing dead verseALIAS: Beckett Baggins
AGE: 33
LOCATION: VariableHe used to co-own the most profitable business in the world, but it's all gone to shit and they operate on a new kind of currency. Separated from the man he loves, Beck's ongoing mission is to locate Thorin Oakes. His weapon of choice? One reliable dagger and all the cunning a multi-millionaire can still afford.THE INSPECTOR
the gargoyles verseALIAS: Beckett Baggins
AGE: 33
LOCATION: LondonDetective Inspector Beckett Baggins isn't really surprised to be thrown off of the Eyrie Building on an investigation. What does surprise him is the winged, beclawed creature who snatches him right out of the sky -- and proceeds to offer him a story his inner novelist could never resist.THE DUALITY
the bbc sherlock verseALIAS: John H. Watson
AGE: early 30s
LOCATION: LondonIn which Bilbo Baggins is John Watson, and John Watson is Bilbo Baggins. ...Wait. That can't be right, can it?Too bad he can't remember.

Thorin II Oakenshield

❝ Let the bough break, let it come down crashing.
Let the sun fade out to a dark sky.
I can't say I'd even notice it was absent,
‘Cause I could live by the light in your eyes.And I am not scared of the elements.
I am under-prepared, but I am willing.
And even better,
I get to be the other half of you.❞
----SARA BAREILLESDearest, darling, firefly in a jar, you are my king 'ere I travel near or far.( lovingly and exclusively bonded to ereborsking )

Confusticating Dwarves Comrades

KILLIAN JONES
exclusive❝ I am smiling because you are my brother. I am laughing because there is nothing you can do about it! ❞ ----UNKNOWN( penned by piraticalwit )JACK SPARROW
main❝ The hardest thing is to live richly in the present without letting it be tainted out of fear for the future or regret for the past. ❞ ----SYLVIA PLATH( penned by trickstercaptain )TOSHIRO HITSUGAYA
main❝ In winter, the stars seem to have rekindled their fires, the moon achieves a fuller triumph, and the heavens wear a look of a more exalted simplicity. ❞ ----JOHN BURROUGHS( penned by ryusxnka )AUDACIIAE
recommended reading❝ I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my eyes and all is born again. ❞ ----SYLVIA PLATH( penned by elliot )